Do not immediately blame the kids, the people around him, or "state" when the child becomes a child with problems. For, whatever the parents' complaints about his son, actually the fault of the tuaitu own.
"Most parents blame their children. In fact, parents should be willing to look into him, what went wrong so that unruly child," said Melly Kiong, author of How to Educate Children in talkhow Creative themed "Being a Parent's craving for Princess Beloved Son "in Kidzania, Pacific Place, Jakarta, Saturday (04/23/2011).
According to him, the child becomes "problematic" because they want to show the disagreement about the attitude of their parents. If you ask a child, are there things that they complain about you, they probably would say that you are fierce, wise guy, quasi-busy, carpenters ngatur, selfish, dictatorial, or too indulgent. Hence, Melly conclude, no matter what happens in children, is because her parents.
"Do not blame the kids if they like playing games. What do parents buy the game," said Melly give an example.
There are many examples of bad behavior from children who actually triggered by the behavior of parents who are not pleasant. For example, Melly adds, kids like to fight because his parents were dictator. Children are spoiled because his parents are too indulgent. Children are selfish because his parents were too selfish.
"We used to be children, while children do not ever become our parents. Therefore, in educating children, go into the position of our children, not impose our own will," added Michael. Mistakes other parents are often too quick to conclude that the child's behavior deemed inappropriate held values.
When children show an unruly manner, you can try to resolve it by doing the following ways:
1. Involving children to make the rules together so that when he violates, he could be reminded again about the rules that have been agreed. Make the consequences of such violations in the form of punishment which was also approved by the child. So when it gets a punishment, children are not surprised anymore because he is in favor of such consequences.
2. Build children's mental struggle. Make it a habit for kids to get something to the struggle. For example, he will get the toy if it can make certain achievements. Even for pocket money, get used to him according to the needs of children. If the child wants more, the child must do something good or proud to be able to get more money it.
3. Build their confidence. Get used to praise every good deed done at home, no matter how small, to build her confidence. Give the titles that make kids proud to himself as "the smart" or "the beautiful" or "the smart".
4. Build "Museum Love Mom". Capture every moment with the kids. For example, save the cinema when a movie with a ticket, save the airfare when doing a holiday together, or save the photo and video memories with the good. All these keepsakes can be opened and be remembered with the children one day, to remind the kids will be happy times with his mother and father.
5. Make notes closer to the child's mother. For example before the child goes to school, write notes about how unfortunately-catatatan you to the child, and enter into a pencil box. Or attach a paper with your love messages in the refrigerator when you are on duty out of town so that children always feel close to you. Create messages that touch the child so the child understands what should and should not be done without being governed.
Melly also reminded, the things that affect the success of the intellectual, emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence, and resilience to face the problem. "Intellectual intelligence can be sharpened with a formal education in schools. But emotional intelligence, spiritual, and resilience to face the problem is the task of mothers to train their children," said Melly.
Source: http://haxims.blogspot.com
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